Chapter Twenty-One: A Wedding

Ben

*

Thanksgiving came and went.  I spent it with Abby’s family at her grandmother’s house while my parents drove up the coast to visit my mother’s old college roommate and my sister’s family flew out to California to see Ike’s family.  It certainly was an experience.  Abby’s family is big.  I mean super big.  I think there were twenty-five people in the house at one time.  Aunts, uncles, cousins, plus her parents, siblings, and grandmother.  All talking and fighting and eating at once, no one seemed to care if they could hear themselves think.

*

I’d never felt so out of place in my life.

*

Abby

*

I don’t know how Ben did it.  He got along with all my crazy uncles and brothers at Thanksgiving and my dad even went so far as to say, “Ben might be an okay guy.”  High praise, indeed.

*

Ben just seemed to belong with us.  With me, I guess.

*

The next thing I knew, we were a week away from my brother’s wedding and my family was so in love with Ben, they included him in every invitation.  To the couple’s shower, the bachelor party, the rehearsal dinner.  The only problem was he hadn’t planned on being in Springfield, an hour away from Boston, for all these events and when he went to book a room, the hotel where the wedding was being held was full.

*

“I could just stay in your room,” he suggested after the third hotel we’d contacted was booked, too.

*

“Why did my brother have to choose the week before Christmas to get married?” I groaned in response.

*

“Abby, listen to me.  We’re both adults.  We’ve been controlling ourselves for the past seven months.  I think we can share a room for a couple of nights without dire consequences.”

*

Silence hung around us, suffocating me.  I walked to the window and stared out at the snow falling.  Ben’s heavy footsteps approached and his hand closed around mine. I forced myself to face him again.

*

Get a grip, Abigail!  It’s not a big deal.

*

“Abby, you trust me, right?”

*

“Yes.”  I do, but I don’t.  Really, I don’t trust myself.

*

“Nothing’s going to happen.”

*

Riiiiight. “How can you be so sure?”

*

“Because I love you.”

*

“That’s why I’m not so sure.  I love you so much.  I don’t know if it’s safe for me to share a room and a bed with you for a whole week.  I might not be able to control myself.”  And I don’t know if I want to.

*

He chuckled and his fingers tightened around mine.  “All the more reason!”

*

“Ben!”  I slapped his shoulder, but he only laughed for another few seconds.

*

“I’ll have enough control for both of us, I promise.  Honestly, no funny business.  Don’t you want me to come with you?”

*

“Yes.”  I really, really do.

*

“Okay, well then it’s settled.”

*

“Yeah, I guess so.”  My thoughts flew all over the place as I looked deep into his eyes.  Do I really want to keep waiting?  Are we going to get married someday?  I want him to be my first, but what if something happens and we break up?  I want to make love to him.   What am I waiting for, really?  What difference does it make if we have sex now or later? No.  You made the decision to wait.  And you’re right.  And Ben understands it. You’ve already waited twenty-five years.  Why ruin it?  Our wedding night, if we get married one day, is going to be amazing.

*

Ben

*

For the first couple of nights in Springfield I slept in the right hand bed and Abby slept in the left hand one.  We were lucky her room had two beds, I guess, because being so close to her every night and not making a move was probably the hardest thing I’d ever done.

*

She was just so damn cute at bedtime.  It was the first time I’d been witness to her nightly routine.  When she started getting tired she’d immediately brush her teeth and wash her face, afraid she’d fall asleep without doing it.  She hummed while she brushed her hair and her pajamas looked like they belonged to a twelve year old.  My favorite pair was covered in teddy bears.  Not sexy in the least, but her confidence was.  She didn’t seem to care at all when I laughed at them.

*

The night before the wedding, after we both crawled under the covers and I shut my eyes, her voice broke through the darkness.

*

“Ben, you awake?”

*

“Mmhmmm.”

*

“Okay.”

*

I opened my eyes and stared across the room into hers.  She smiled.

*

“What?” I asked.

*

“Nothing.”

*

“Go to sleep,” I tried to scold her, but like I said, she was too damn cute.

*

“Do you believe in God, Ben?”

*

“Yes, I do.”  I have no idea where the question came from, but she rolled over and focused on the ceiling.  My answer seemed to rattle her.  “Do you believe in God?”

*

“I don’t know.  Sometimes.”  She pulled the blanket over her head and sighed loudly.  “Sometimes I feel like there’s just too much crap in the world, too many people suffering, for there to be a God.”

*

I sat up and leaned against the headboard of my bed, looking at the lump on hers indicating she was under the covers, wishing I knew what she needed from me.  It had to be something, why else would she bring up God at midnight the night before her brother’s wedding?  “A lot of people feel like that.”

*

“Yeah, but then, well, then I look at you, and I know that only God could have created someone so wonderful and caring and I can’t believe I ever doubted.  And I watched Derek and Samantha tonight at the rehearsal.  They really love each other.  Could love even exist without a God?”

*

Wow, uh… “No, I don’t think it could.”

*

“Yeah.  Okay, sorry.  You can go to sleep now.”  Her head popped out from under the blanket and she turned onto her side, putting her back to me.

*

“Wait, now I have a question for you.”   I swung my legs off the bed and stepped softly around hers, kneeling down so our faces were level with each other’s.  She reached her hand out and placed it on my cheek.

*

“Okay.”

*

“What’s your favorite flower?”

*

“My favorite flower?  That’s kind of out of the blue.”

*

“And ‘Do I believe in God’ wasn’t?”

*

She laughed, “I guess it was.  Why do you want to know my favorite flower?”

*

“Why after all this time do you still refuse to answer personal questions?”

*

Her hand fell from my cheek and made a soft thud as it hit the mattress.  “Oh, Ben…”  She sat up and I stood, she reached for my hands and pulled me onto the bed beside her.  Her fingers ran up my arms and linked around my neck, bringing my face down to hers.  Kissing me.  When she released me, her eyes remained closed and she pressed her forehead down onto my chest.

*

“Anemones, my favorite flowers are anemones.  My grandfather grew them in his garden.”

*

I kissed her again and started to get up to return to my bed, but she held onto me, lying down and tucking my arm around her waist.  I scooted beside her and pressed my body against hers.  She fell asleep in my arms.

*

Abby

*

The ceremony started at 6:00 the next day.   Anna and Ashley glided down the aisle where Derek waited at the end for his bride.  Taking a deep breath and smiling at my brother, I followed behind my sisters.  Once the other two bridesmaids took their place, the crowd rose and faced the bride.  I kept my eyes on Derek the whole time.  Tears fell down my cheeks as his face lit up at the sight of her.  Pure love and happiness shone from his eyes.  Ashley sniffled beside me.

*

I barely heard the minister as he addressed Samantha and Derek; I barely heard the vows they spoke to each other.  Before I knew it, they were walking back up the aisle and I caught sight of Ben.  He sat in the second row on the groom’s side, right beside Will and Cain.  He winked as I passed by and I almost tripped on my dress.

*

The band introduced the bridal party into the reception and we stood around the dance floor while the bride and groom danced their first dance to “The Way You Look Tonight.”  I made a mental note to tease Derek about the song choice after he got back from the honeymoon.  Finally, we found our seats and the band announced dinner service would begin soon.

*

Ben waited for me at our table.  Damn, he looks good. He wore a dark blue suit, with a white shirt and light blue tie that matched his eyes.  I’d never seen him in a suit before and couldn’t believe I once thought he looked his best in sweats.  He jumped up to pull out my chair as I reached the table.  I thanked him, but we didn’t have much time for conversation as my sisters, their husbands, and two other couples joined us.  Anna and Ashley talked non-stop about the ceremony, the flowers, the linens, the cake, etc. and frequently called on me for my opinion, so I didn’t have the opportunity to talk to Ben until after dinner.

*

He finished telling me about the golf outing with the guys that morning as the bandleader announced, “Samantha and Derek would like to invite all of the other couples in love to join them on the dance floor.”  A slow and pretty tune played, and I glanced around wistfully, watching as Anna and Will, then Ashley and Cain, took a place among the happy couples.  Ben tapped on my shoulder.

*

“May I have this dance?” He offered me his hand.

*

“Oh.  Of course!”  How stupid you are, Abigail!  You’re in love, too! He led me out to the floor and we joined the other couples rocking rhythmically back and forth.  He pulled me close to him and firmly placed one arm around my waist.  I followed his lead as he twirled me around, weaving in and out of the other pairs.  We locked eyes and my heart swelled to three or four times its normal size.

*

“I wanted to tell you before, but I didn’t have the chance,” he leaned in even closer, “you look absolutely stunning tonight.”  I blushed and laid my head on his shoulder.

*

When the dance ended, the band began playing a more up-tempo number and Ben whirled and spun me like crazy.  I couldn’t help but laugh at his goofy attempt at dancing and soon he was laughing at my ungraceful attempts, too.  We stayed on the dance floor for the next hour.

*

“How come I’ve never seen you in a suit before?” I asked when we took a break to watch Samantha and Derek cut the cake and be toasted by the maid of honor and best man.

*

“You haven’t?  Well, I guess I haven’t needed to wear one before now.”

*

“You should wear one every day, you look incredible.”

*

“I’ll keep that in mind.”  His eyes twinkled as he leaned over to kiss me.  “Now, back on the dance floor, young lady!”  We danced until we were ready to fall over from exhaustion.

*

Once the guests sent Derek and Samantha off in their limo, Ben grabbed my hand and led me away.  Alone in the elevator, he pressed me against the wall and kissed me.  It took me off guard: we’d spent such a romantic sweet evening, but now the passion flowing between us threatened to explode.  My hands groped his back and shoulders while his ran through my hair and down my arms.  When the doors opened on our floor, I slipped beneath his hold and jumped out, practically running to our room and dragging him along after me.

*

It took a few minutes to get the key in the door because we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, but when we finally managed to get inside, I pushed it shut with my foot, keeping my mouth locked on Ben’s and letting him lean me into the door.  The knob pushed into my spine, but I didn’t care.

*

Every touch sent me spiraling closer to a vortex of pleasure I’d never known.  It’s been long enough.  You’re both ready.  Just go for it, my mind screamed and my body listened.  I reached around to unzip my dress, but Ben stepped away from me.

*

“I’ve got to take a shower,” he mumbled before throwing himself into the bathroom and slamming the door.  The lock clicked into place a second later and I fell face-first on the bed.  I knew this room wasn’t such a good idea.  It’s a good thing one of us can control ourselves.

*

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<– Chapter Twenty: Interrogation********************Chapter Twenty-Two: Christmas –>